The Pros & Cons Of Watching Porn With Your Partner | sheerluxe.com

The Pros & Cons Of Watching Porn With Your Partner

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There's more female-friendly pornography than ever before​ and a study by Marie Claire revealed one-in-three British women are watching it at least once a week. But what about enjoying porn with a partner? We sat down with LELO's resident sex expert Stu Nugent to find out if porn can play a positive part in a relationship…

What are the benefits of watching porn with your partner?

Sharing porn and watching together can become part of a heightened sexual ritual, it can be very sexy. It can help to identify a partner’s desires if they’re too shy or inhibited to express those desires out loud, and give you both ideas for new sex positions and techniques.

And what are the cons?

Unfortunately there are many. Porn can create an unrealistic image of sex, especially in a relationship. Let's take, for example, penis size. Watching porn with a partner can lead to insecurity about the link between penis size and sexual prowess, which is unfair and untrue. The same is true of the pressure on women to be willing, or appear to be willing, to engage in sex acts from which they derive no pleasure.
 
Another potential con is that the vast majority of people are instinctively private about their porn use. Most of us discover porn in our adolescence, before full sexual maturity, which means it's inherently loaded with the need for secrecy – and therefore, shame and embarrassment. That sense of porn use being private and personal is deeply conditioned, meaning it extends deep into later life. When one partner discovers another's private use of porn, it can cause a disruption in the relationship's equilibrium and once again feelings of uncertainty and insecurity can arise.

What if your partner wants to watch porn without you?

As relationships mature, it's common for sex to be usurped by real life pressures, and the desire for sex generally diminishes over time. Porn and, by extension, masturbation, offer an outlet for suppressed sexual desire. That can be healthy, normal and stabilising – but only if both partners are aware. If one is keeping secrets about their porn use, that's when issues can arise. However, it's equally unfair for one partner to limit the other's porn viewing completely – it has to be a negotiation in which both partners are willing to compromise.

On a Similar Note

What if they're not comfortable with your porn use?

If you're in the early days of a relationship, be wary of a partner who tries to stifle your use of porn, and if it's a big part of your personal sexual identity, then be prepared to defend it too. But, also be prepared to compromise, as there are many who remain uncomfortable with a partner’s reliance on porn. With good communication and mutual understanding, there’s no reason why porn can’t be introduced to any healthy relationship.

How can women find enjoyable porn?

The vast majority of porn available on the internet fits a very standard template – it contains acts that many women find demeaning, it values male orgasms over female orgasms and there's often a distinct lack of intimacy. However female porn directors and female-centric porn sites are catering to the growing demand of adult entertainment for women – try free website ForHerTube.com, whick ranks movies by female popularity. If you've never watched porn and aren't sure what type you'd like, erotic story website Literotica.com is great way to explore your fantasies too.

Anything else to know?

Porn is already a part of normal relationships for hundreds of millions of couples. We just don't talk about it that much. However, if you are worried about a partner and their porn habits, help is available. Sex Addicts Anonymous and Relate can be a good place to start.
 

 

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